Are you a Brick Wall?
When I became a Brick Wall!
IGCSE grade 9, we had a student who was a special needs student. He was
quite impossible for anyone to get him to focus or work. Not even a single
subject teacher could get some work from him. I was the Maths teacher and at
wits end. He would not do any classwork or homework. He would allow the class
to go on without disrupting it at least once daily.
I became a “brick-wall,” teacher (What is inner discipline? n.d.). I completely lacked the skill of “Neutralizing
student arguing”, (Delisio, 2008), and that went against building an empathic
approach, which is one of the “nine essential skills for teachers” (Delisio,2008)
The school counsellor team tried very hard to find some area where they
could discover potential in him to give him the space to shine in that area.
They found photography and swimming as two fields where he was a champion
naturally.
Our clash happened when he was to go for a swimming meet and I had a
Maths test on the same day. He came to me and very rudely demanded being
excused from the test. That was my tipping point…his rudeness. I refused to
grant him an exemption.
I hit rock bottom when the student was rude. My Achilles heel.
What happened?
“Maybe when there’s a problem, we
should focus not only on the child who doesn’t do what he’s asked, but also on
what he’s being asked to do (and how reasonable it is).”, (Kohn, 1995)
The word ‘reasonable’ in this reading struck me. I wasn’t being
reasonable. He was a kid who failed at everything in his school life so far
except swimming, and was given a chance to excel in it. I was the villain who
would not let him get to it for a ‘Maths test’. He needed to succeed for his
self-esteem and could see the opportunity in the form of the competition.
What could I have done?
Over the years I have thought about this incident. I could have simply
told him, ‘Go for your tournament. Best wishes. We will have a retest when you
are back and ready for it’. I could have attended the tournament and cheered
for him. That would have calmed his anxiety, the real reason for his rudeness.
With that I would have paved the way
for a relationship where he felt safe with me, for he would have understood
that I am a “back-bone” teacher, (What is inner discipline? n.d.) for
him and would support him in what he is good at and not what I want him to be
good at. That wold have made me a better teacher as (Curwin,
Mendler, Mendler) say “It's the ones who create difficulty that force us to expand our skills,
and that makes teachers better for all students”.
(PS: Just to end the story…He never got a 0. The principal intervened.
He went for the tournament and came back with a silver medal. I gave a retest.
We had a good dialogue where we both apologized for our behaviour and existed
happily ever after in the classroom.)
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